Looking through the mirror, I could see Fear, Rejection, Pain, Guilt, Resentment, Sadness and Bitterness.
Nothing in the world could ever change my sadness. I am deeply lonely and can never be happy. I have pretended enough and now I am totally shattered.
The anchor that holds me in my pain, stays the same. What I once used to crave, now seems to be what I absolutely detest. I was once surrounded by people who adored me and now the slightest sign of love seems to irk me.
I began to associate LOVE with PAIN and all I wish to do is run away from it as far as I can. I managed to convince myself that I am protecting myself from feeling any pain.
The walls I put up, the constant need of establishing boundaries, I unquenchable thirst to be alone, just by myself. I felt this phase was blissful .
- What is it that I want?
- What is it that can make me happy?
- Do I embrace pain and remain unhappy?.
I think am fading, I am so lost.
But looking through me as I stood in front of the mirror with my eyes closed, my inner self felt the need to embrace every moment with a smile…….. So I said;
Mirrors are not to be trusted, they lie and steal your true self, they reveal only what your mind believes it see. There is every need to change.